That's What Trends Are For.

The other night I was lying in bed as a huge storm was raging outside. A long string of random thoughts led me to thinking about rain boots. This led me to think about how wearing colorfully patterned rain boots over tucked in jeans has become a trend in the last couple of years. This is a particular trend (no offense) that my husband and I find very annoying. No reason, necessarily, other than the fact that we think it looks silly. But don't get defensive, just yet, because I've participated in my share of ridiculous fashion trends as well. Thus, this post is an ode to my favorite trends, both good and bad (mostly, the bad) that have come and gone.

Putting the UGG in UGLY-Similar to the rain boots, there is the ever-so-popular and yet ever-so-pointless trend: Ugg boots and shorts or mini-skirts. What's the deal with this? Boots that were originally crafted and designed solely to keep the feet warm in extremely cold temperatures, later became a "must have" to go with your tank tops and minis. While this trend just makes me laugh due to the sheer fact that it doesn't make sense, my husband, again, just finds it unattractive and annoying.

Thou Shawl Not Wear Shawls-Another trend I never participated in (thank goodness) is the old granny shawl that came back a few years ago. It served no purpose, and I secretly got a kick out of watching girls get theirs stuck on a hook or their earring, or snagged on their engagement ring, etc. I prefer to look young, thank you. I'll save the granny clothes for...never.

Now there are, unfortunately, some trends that were horribly hideous that I did participate in (hindsight is 20/20, after all).

Fashionably Clueless-Remember the movie Clueless? Well, I happened to be in junior high when that movie came out. So did I base all of my fashion decisions on that movie and that movie alone? You better believe it. I had dozens of pairs of those knee-high socks. It was a staple. I went to school wearing my ridiculous striped thigh-highs, a skirt, some platform or clog-like shoes, and a backpack purse to complete the ensemble. At the risk of losing all of my friends, I have attached a picture for proof of this awesome getup. I could be a poster child for What Not to Wear. And yet I felt like I was "hot stuff" when this picture was taken. Yikes.

Catch Wind of This Sporty Trend-I also admit that I wore those Nylon 'wind pants.' You know, the kind that made a loud 'swooshing' sound with every step you took? They were popular for quite some time, particularly among the athletic crowd. A pair of noisy Adidas pants, a sports' team t-shirt, and a pair of tennis shoes, and I had one good-looking outfit. The only problem is...I didn't even play sports. In fact, I was the opposite of athletic. But at least I looked good.

As I conclude this post, I want to mention a couple trends that I hope never make their return to the fashion world.

- Shoulder pads. I don't even have anything to say about this. It's self-explanatory.

- Stirrup pants. They never ride up! But they also never flatter the female form. A trend better left in the past.

We're all guilty of committing fashion crimes. It's inevitable. After all, that's what trends are for. Let's just hope we take lots of pictures along the way so we can look back and laugh later.

Define...Clean.

I started off my day with a rice cereal sneeze. You know, when a baby has a mouth full of rice cereal and the urge to sneeze hits him and before you know it, you're covered head-to-toe in the stuff?

And why is rice cereal so hard to clean up, by the way? I take my time wiping him down with a warm, wet cloth, and an hour later I'm peeling off dried, flaky deposits of it in his ears, on his toes, in his hair, etc.

After his second rice cereal wipe down this morning, I came to the conclusion that we moms tend to surrender to a new definition of the word "clean." I think I can sum up this new definition to this: If it doesn't smell like poop or look like it's been pooped on, it's fine!

My son didn't ease me into motherhood. Oh no, it wasn't long before I was "showered" at the changing table. But perhaps the time when we were officially inducted into the parent club was when my husband and I took our son for his one month pictures. We wanted to do those ever-so-popular nude baby pictures- for blackmail down the road, of course. He managed to urinate all over the black sheet he was laying on- twice. Then in the ten seconds it took to pick him up and lay him down to get a diaper on, he managed to go "number two," which landed in the pocket of my denim skirt. Ew. Then, as if that wasn't disgusting enough, he gave us an encore which this time landed on daddy's shirt. He sported a nice yellow stain for the rest of our time in public.

I will say, though, that the spit up, slobber, and the diaper disasters are all nice scapegoats for my own personal messiness. I rarely go a meal without something falling either off of my fork or out of my mouth and onto my clothes. My husband likes to point this out to me regularly. But now, if I'm out and about and my typical eating clumsiness occurs, I blame it on the baby. Baby stains are more socially acceptable, so I'm milkin' it for all it's worth!

Well, I have to go spray-n-wash four onesies, the slobbery shoulder of my t-shirt, and the pants that I...er...uh...the baby spilled food on, then draw a bath to scrub the pesky dried cereal that somehow got up his nostrils and under his armpits. Oh, motherhood...